I have a confession to make: middle school was terrible for me. I was awkward, shy, extremely self-conscious and, of course, incredible insecure. I used to wake up in the morning wishing I could magically change into a popular, gorgeous girl who gets admired by everyone. I was scared of speaking to certain people because I thought they were too cool for me. I was scared of talking to my crush that was in class next door to me. I was scared of the smallest things.
But you know what? As I grew up, those problems faded away. The people who I thought were intimidating turned out to be nice. The guy that I used to have a crush on didn’t really matter anymore. Besides, I have more problems to think about now that I’m in college, like schoolwork, jobs and graduate school.
A lot of people remember their middle school or high school years as their most awkward transition to “adulthood.” Your bodies are changing, your friends are changing, and you feel like even your parents are changing…even if they don’t. Now that I’m over that phase, there are a number of things that I wish I knew when I was in middle school and high school:
- If you get your heart broken, it won’t matter in the future. I’m being honest. And harsh. And cold. And it may sound like I’m being ignorant, but I have to say that time will heal your broken heart. Yes, you will get a guy in the future and no, he’s not the only one meant for you. In the end, you are going to be fine. Another thing I want to remind every girl is that you do NOT need a guy to be happy. It’s 2014, and girls can are powerful. You are not dependent on a young, hormone-enraged teenager; you create your own happiness.
- Accept yourself. If you are too absorbed in what you are not, you are going to be miserable. When I say accept yourself, it means internally and physically. You have to like what you see in the mirror and like where you are in life. If you focus on what you don’t have or can’t get, it will affect your self perception.
- Who you are right now might not be who you are in the future. I remember everyone in my middle school. Somehow, everyone had a label. The popular chicks, the jocks, the nerds, the so-called “weirdos,” the middle. I remember when I graduated, I thought everyone would always be the same person. But are they still the same people today? Nope. One girl used to be so quiet and shy, but in high school, she became the class president. Another girl failed both mathematics and science, but now she studies engineering in college. People change. Their old labels can easily disappear in the future.
- There are bigger problems out there. I remember I was always anxious about the smallest things, like whether the jeans I was wearing were “cool” enough. I was anxious about whether a guy would not like me because I was labeled a “weirdo.” But now that I look back, what I thought were big problems were really nothing. If I focused on real world problems, I would not waste my time wallowing in things that now seem so trivial.
- Don’t compare yourself to others. Comparing yourself to any other person is the worst thing you can do. It not only destroys your self-esteem, but also your relationship with that person. You might have a friend that gets hit on all the time by cute guys, ace her tests, and is still considered popular. But like everyone else, she has her own problems that she might not want anyone else to see. This is your life. And you are the one who controls it.
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