Picking ourselves up and staying there

After we have endured something that has weighed us down for so long there comes a point when you are more than ready to put it behind you.  It’s hard to imagine what the next step should be.  Falling down over and over seems like a pattern that will never stop!  Whether you tragically lost a family member or simply had to leave someone you thought you’d love forever, there comes a certain gloom —an infinite hopeless feeling, which makes all pain universal.   Here are a few things on how to continue on your stride once you have gotten up on your wobbly two feet.  Remember, it doesn’t necessarily take something unfortunate to spark a feeling of emptiness, it’s hard growing up!

Don’t wait for rock bottom!

Like I mentioned before, getting down on yourself becomes a pattern QUICKLY.  One day you feel like everything is fine and you won’t let yourself get stuck thinking about someone you miss.  All it takes is one negative thought to make you feel down in the dirt and that’s when you tell yourself it will never get better.  You almost begin to wait for rock bottom considering that all you ever hear is that once you’re there, things can only get better.   Why not just make things better now?

Treat your ‘Self’ better!

Remember those philosophy classes where you were taught about individual existence?  Neither do I, but I did learn one great lesson.  I say the ‘Self’ because you need to recognize how to separate your ‘ego’ and who you really are.  It’s easy to get caught up in feeling like you are worthless and pathetic.  There were times when I actually came to terms that I had nothing good to offer someone I truly cared about; or anyone for that matter.  There was nothing special about me.  Why is it the second a friend, or even a stranger, begins to feel weak we do all we can to heighten their spirits?  We would never tell them the disheartening things we tell ourselves.  It’s time to treat your Self like a friend who needs uplifted.

Be yourself and your own evaluator!

When you are in an insecure state, you tend to rely on other people to help you make the right decisions.  “Should I get back together with him/her?” “Should I move away from home and start a new life?”  I find it easier, as a friend, to not always give advice.  I steer away from any adamant opinions.  You don’t necessarily want to hear how awful the person you love is, or how scary it will be if you move.  Usually we just want someone who will listen and talk with unbiasedly.  In time, we will learn what is truly right—and it will be the best, most authentic lesson you could ever learn.

It’s easy to feel silly, especially being a girl, with our never-ending emotions.  There will be times when we lose sight of ourselves and when it feels like the world around us is falling apart.  No matter what the cause is to feeling this way, never be ashamed.  I found myself stuck in desolation because I couldn’t stop missing someone who had my entire heart.  I lost focus of who of I was.  If you remind yourself of these three crutches, it should be easy to get back up.  Just know, “A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor(ess)”

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