The giggling of the kindergarten students subsided and the teacher called out the next name for “Show and Tell.”  I stood in the center of the circle, anxiously waiting to reveal my big secret.  I had spent years believing that I was special because my parents had chosen me, but the moment my secret was revealed, I knew I had made a mistake.

I am Adopted.

Over fifteen years of my life were spent questioning my relationship with my family, and most especially the reasoning behind my biological mother’s decision to put me up for adoption.  There was a stark contrast between my identity at home and my identity at school.  At home, I was deemed as “special, important, and a gift from God.” This was a far cry from the questioning and isolation that I deeply resented yet endured from my peers.  I found myself envious of those who did not have to question their genetic makeup.

It was difficult to embrace my olive-shaped eyes and boisterous personality without having an understanding of where, or from whom I received them. Through self-discovery and influential life experiences, I learned to accept and appreciate my differences.  This acknowledgement not only allowed me to withstand future physical and emotional challenges; it also shaped my passions in life.

My moment

Michelle Copti & Stephanie Licata

It was not until I met Stephanie, a mentor and teacher I encountered during my high school years. that I began to recognize the importance of these differences and how they can relate to self-acceptance.  I had spent a substantial amount of time agonizing over the concept of identity and the differences that separated me from my peers and my parents.

At the age of 16, Stephanie gave me the opportunity to put my life in perspective. This allowed me to transform my negative experiences into positive life lessons.  I learned to live from the belief that I have been shaped by my experiences but that those experiences do not define who I am.  I now understand that in order to move on from emotional barriers and vulnerabilities, I must be able to honor, cherish, and appreciate myself.

From that point forward, it was evident that I needed something more than just trying to believe I am beautiful, wanted, and accepted.

The Simple Tool of Affirmation 

Stephanie gave me a very simple tool to create the confidence I’d been searching for. She told me to take an index card and write I am Beautiful. I am Wanted. I am Accepted. She told me to decorate my index card however I see fit. Once I completed my index card, I was to recite the phrases on the index card as many times a day I needed to. For me, every morning I woke up and looked into the mirror and recited my index card that was taped on the mirror. I recited these phrases each and every day until I felt confident about what I was saying and that I truly felt in inside myself. By reciting my index card, I was able to realize that no matter the differences I faced, I was able to accept myself first and foremost.

I made that index card over 5 years ago! Now, as a 20something young women looking to the future I can stand in front of the mirror, I can say “Hi, my name is Michelle and I was adopted!” I recently gathered with a group of Get Smart Gals and was compelled to tell this story to share my experience, hoping it would benefit others.

Create your index card recipe for confidence!

This is so easy!

1. Grab an index card or small piece of paper.

2. Write three affirming statements. SEARCH YOUR HEART! What do you most need to hear?

3. Stick this card in a place you can see it every day and say it to yourself!

4. Repeat as necessary. Like any good workout, results will be seen in time!

Get Smart, Get Inspired

Whether you are 14, 19, 23 or a parent/mentor Join our mailing list (we only email 1x a week with something inspiring!) here!

What will they find when they Google you?

Would you like to create a positive online presence? Consider writing for us! Apply here!