Meeting new people is always a challenge, but for a person with social anxiety, it seems impossible. We’re not entirely sure how to start a conversation. And if we manage to get through that hurdle, continuing the conversation isn’t a piece of cake either. We may seem calm and composed on the outside, but our heart is beating at an unnatural speed, our palms are sweaty and we feel like we’re about to pass out.

I’m only in my first year of college and my social anxiety hasn’t made it easy. Back in high school, my anxiety prevented me from making use of a lot of opportunities that were readily available to me. But I was determined not to let that continue in college. When I got here, however, I could feel my resolve begin to diminish. After three weeks of constant self-hate and trying to convince my parents that I wasn’t depressed, I decided that I’d had enough. I wasn’t going to let my anxiety ruin yet another opportunity.

I’m now four months into college and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I have my own group of close friends, in addition to being friends with most people in my class. I’ve made a presentation, been one of many scriptwriters for a play, learned a new language and I don’t plan on giving up any time soon. My advice for anyone who is going through all the things that I did when I first joined college is:

1. Make the first move: It’s not easy and it never will be but it’s important to give it a shot. That sentence that you’ve rehearsed in your mind over ten times already is going to sound just fine when you finally say it aloud.  And even if it doesn’t, it’s okay. Your brain may tell you that the person opposite to you now thinks you’re really weird and will never want to be friends with you, but they’ve probably already forgotten about it.

2. Group projects: Everyone dreads them for so many reasons but if you have social anxiety, the fact that you have to work with strangers just makes it a lot worse. Your feelings of inadequacy are going to be at their peak and the fear of letting everyone down is going to keep you up at night. Personally, however, group projects helped me get to know a lot more people in my class and eased me into the process of making new friends. When you’re working on something together, you have a goal in mind and already have something to talk about. Even if you feel like it’s too early for you to put forward your own ideas, start small by agreeing with ideas that you approve of.

3. Realize that it takes time: Like me, you probably expect a lot from college and chances are, your anxiety may make it really tough at the beginning. But realize that you have a lot of time to achieve the goals that you’ve set for yourself. You’re going to have days where you feel like you’ll be okay and other days where you feel like giving up and quitting college altogether. Try to remind yourself of your good days and believe in your ability to make them happen again.

College will definitely provide you with a lot of opportunities and will help you identify different versions of yourself. Your social anxiety will make that journey more difficult but it is definitely possible. I, too, have many obstacles I still have to overcome, but I know I’ll get there slowly and steadily and so will you.