Since coming to college, I’ve made many new friends. With these friendships comes all of the “get to know each other” questions. Examples of a few I’ve received the most often are:
- Where are you from?
- What’s your major?
- How many siblings do you have?
- What did you do in high school?
- What are your favorite memories?
- What’s the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done?
Although my major is undeclared and I always forget who I am when people ask me to tell them about myself, the last question has been the most difficult for me to answer. Apparently, I must have lived a sheltered life because I couldn’t think of anything I’ve done that is more rebellious than the time someone lit empty gum packets on fire in the school parking lot and a police officer drove by telling us to put it out. Well, that and the several times I’ve been pulled over while driving, but nothing that is groundbreaking rebellion in the eyes of my peers. When struggling to answer these questions, my peers asked me things like,
- What, you’ve never snuck out before?
- You never had people over when your parents were gone?
- You never drank?
I was a “goody two shoes” for lack of a better term, I suppose. I didn’t participate in the typical teenage lifestyle of rebellious acts. However, I would still like to call myself a rebel. I may not be a rebel in the common sense of the word, but I would have no problem in leading a rebellion against society. My sophomore year I was at an all-time low. I hated who I was, what I looked like, my personality, everything. I hated it all. I didn’t believe people when they complimented me. My father told me he thought I was beautiful one day, and I laughed. I was bullied by a classmate. I was bullied by my coach. I was told I needed to lose weight, my laugh was annoying, my sneezes were weird, etc. How could I love myself when the things I could hardly control were the things I “needed to,” “should,” and “oh my God, could you stop” change? I went to a church camp and fell in love with myself again after recognizing that I was made in the image of God. I convinced myself that if I could love Him with everything I am, I should most definitely be able to love myself.
I love myself. I love who I am, and I have worked very hard to get to this point. No one can take that away from me. I have my struggles at times, we all do, but I will never forget the difference in who I am now compared to who I was then.
This is my biggest act of rebellion. In a society that profits off of your self-doubt, loving yourself is an act of rebellion. So rise with me, girls and boys, ladies and gentlemen, women and men. Stand up and tell society, “no!” You will no longer be a victim of self-hate and disgust, but a rebel of self-love, appreciation, and acceptance. Rise up and rebel on.
Oh, and for the record…
- I have 3 siblings, 1 brother and 2 sisters
- It’d be easier to list the things in which I wasn’t involved in high school
- And as for my favorite memories and where I am from…
Keep following and reading, and you’ll discover those answers in no time.