This lesson’s explanation came to me as I was driving. Therefore I have literally exited route 95 in middle of  Connecticut. I am sitting in a Lowe’s parking lot to impart it to whoever might need to hear it.

As I drove today I was reminded of the many road trips I took in my last relationship. For an independent woman, a relationship that was sort of long distance worked out well. I like my space and the ability to do my own thing as much as I adore being with the person I am with.

As I drove many memories flooded back to me and I recalled how two very simple things have helped heal my heart. Get in your car and get out your pen. Your thoughts and feelings are about to be unleashed!

Drive…

Driving is a funny thing. You have to focus just enough to not get into an accident, but you can let your mind can run a little bit. There is something about the open road that is soothing and cleansing. Since I have friends and family all over, road trips post-heartbreak were like mini spa days for me.

Now the key to this is also good music. I suggest making a playlist of songs that empower you, lead you to reflect but nothing too moving that you’ll wind up crying on a highway :).

Drive in silence too. Through it all just let your thoughts flow. Don’t judge them or evaluate them, allow them to pass through your mind and your heart uninterrupted. Let the curve of the road and the metaphor of being on a journey help you to believe that no ending is really an ending. Consider it is a catalyst to the next part of the your undiscovered path. This notion can transform sadness into adventure on a dime.

Write your heart out…

When you are healing from a heartbreak you are essentially starting a new life. The space filled by someone is now vacant. It is critical to put yourself in that space before you invite another person in.

Journaling is one of my most sacred activities. I write my way to understanding. I may have one thought but it will lead me to an insight that I never even imagined. My favorite thing to do is to look back and see the progress I have made intellectually and emotionally over these past almost 9 months. It makes me feel alive and clear that everything I endured was perfectly imperfect. More importantly I can see it was all an essential stepping stone to all of my most authentic dreams being fulfilled.

Write whenever it strikes you, and let your own words inform your heart. Be the author of your life and stop to re-read the moments of growth to inspire you along the way.

The Lesson…

You cannot eat, drink, or ignore your way through heartbreak. Well…you can – but it will for sure suck more thank you think in the long run. Use life-giving simple, free, and liberating practices to process through your loss. When you are in the “perceived gain” stage, like I am now, you will be most grateful to a pretty cool human being. Yes, that would be you.

Rock on people. xoxo

Steph

P.S. A shout out to Lowe’s for their free customer wi-fi. I promise to buy a lightbulb from you in the not-so-distant future.