As much as I would love to compare everything to the analogy of breaking up with a boyfriend, losing a friend is much worse. When you’re in a relationship with a significant other, there is always this slight possibility that things might not work out. As lovely and promising it seems to fantasize about your future together, even while in the midst of living out said future, there is always a way out. I’d imagine that being in love would add some securities to this minuscule shred of doubt, but it still exists between most couples.

Best Friends Forever?

When you have a friendship with someone you deem to be your best friend, you actually expect it to last for life. It’s almost like you signed a contract. They literally cannot not love you. And you love them back like there is no possibility of desertion. Friendship is when you don’t rush to see each other the second you get home from your two-week vacation because you know she is still going to be there tomorrow. And the next day. And the 52 million days after that. There is a type of security…an intangibly unwritten promise that hovers beneath every word you speak to one another. Am I being crazy? Seriously, tell me I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Worse Than Heartbreak

When you lose your best friend, it is worse than heartbreak. It isn’t that guy with the gorgeous eyes who doesn’t like you anymore. It isn’t some dude who cheated on you and made you feel more worthless than every other being on the planet. No. A crack in the bond of friendship is much worse. It’s taking that sacredly unspoken vow, balling it into a fist, uncrumpling it to lay flat the best it can, and then tearing it repeatedly right down the middle—one slow and torturous rip at a time. (Sidenote: my best friend knows that when I use the phrase, “right down the middle,” I’m quoting the Parent Trap. Every time.) And so, I have complied a list to help those of you who may have experienced this situation or are currently going through it.

What Do You Do?

1. You cry. Because they deserve the tears. And if you’re one of those people with vats of dust in place of tearducts, then you pretend to cry. Because you have seriously lost.
2. You breathe. Because now you need to stop crying. You are going to be okay. Dr. Seuss once said, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
3. You remember as much as you can about them. The good, the bad and all of the in-betweens. Love those memories and love that they were with you. In turn, love yourself more for having those memories.
4. You stay put and you do your thing. I won’t call it moving on, because you don’t actually move anywhere. . Keep going. You were a great person for being able to have a best friend. Whatever caused you to not be friends anymore does not change that. Whatever type of friendship you had was special and unique, and nobody else will ever feel just how you did.
5. Date your Netflix. Tweet. Eat your favorite Ben & Jerry’s flavor to bits. This is called being single. It is also referred to as learning to be “alone.”
6. Realize you are not really alone. You are the only one inside your head, the only one who has your exact feelings, but there are surely some other people who exist who get pretty close to the same type of stuff you think you invented all on your own.
7. Stop tweeting. Text said people and tell them about how much you love them. Throw out the ice cream carton, drop the spoon in the sink, and yell to Mom that you’ll load the dishwasher later.

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