If I could tell you the single thing that has kept me going since last November it has been living next door to my gym. There is no excuse you can really come up with when you are a 5 minute walk or 60 second drive to the nearest fitness facility.

A broken heart releases an avalanche of emotions. Emotions carry with them energy. This energy can flood your mind, heart, and make every day functioning feel like an olympic trial. In the wake of my heartbreak, every single move I made felt like I was trudging through mud or wet sand.

I remember once a treasured friend said to me “Steph, you have to just move your body – go move the energy around and change the conversation.”

My Rendezvous with Exercise

Working out has been an important part of my life in the past decade, but I can now say it has become my secret friend. For someone who used to be over 350 lbs, I know that my workout time is sacred.

There were times when the sadness from my unexpected heartbreak was so overwhelming that brushing my teeth was a monumental act. Heartbreaks in the past had always led me to workout more in an attempt to attract someone to fill the hole in my heart left by the previous person.

NEWSFLASH: this NEVER works. I had made fun of all those people who said you had to “love yourself” first and all that hoopla. Workout out was a gesture of commitment to myself like no other. I committed to a minimum of 4 workouts a week and have kept that promise without fail since November 26, 2012 (Heartbreak day!). Some weeks I even hit 5 or 6 workouts and it feels INCREDIBLE!

Even if I walked instead of visiting the gym, I made it happen. I love to spin, walk, do the elliptical, strength train…all with motivating music of course. (I am secretly in my own production of Glee everyday!) I love it when the girl at the front desk at my gym says “What’s up Steph?” They KNOW me. They EXPECT to see me.

The Transformation Continues…

Without weight loss to “get the guy” as my goal – I made my goal about loving and nurturing myself, in the way that no one truly has ever done for me in a relationship. It was my job to do this for me first, and now I know real love is truly possible.

Since the start of my healing process I have lost almost 30 lbs and I have never felt better in my entire life. I feel beautiful, alive, radiant, and happy. Whats more is I feel the way I thought I would feel when I finally found the right person. I feel complete because I truly did something for myself and not to please someone else.

The Lesson…

My capacity for giving is infinite. It was not until I learned to extend some of that to myself that who I have been waiting to be started to emerge. It has also made me think very carefully before I start giving to others. Being CENTERED is different that being SELF-CENTERED. When you are centered, balanced, and at peace with you, the world gets the best of you. And when the time is right, falling in love again will feel effortless, natural, and could even take you by surprise – the way it is supposed to.

So MOVE AROUND! Take all of that energy and let it catapult you to the next level of awareness. Love your body and use it to heal yourself.

Wishing you Sunshine through the Rain! xo

Steph